Curse Of The Bearded Girlfriend
I, Blabberus, oldest son of the Chatterati, set down this account of the fateful journey that became legend among the seven hills of Bad Haven, New Jersey. In the summer of my 17th year, I decided to undertake the Great Pilgrimage. It was a 3,000-mile cross-country trek in which I braved thirst, starvation, fire and insanity. There were times when I feared I might never return to start my senior year of high school in the fall of 1972. Why did I undertake such a perilous journey? You could say I went because few women could resist a man who had hitchhiked to Freakerdam, eaten charred marshmallows off a car antenna and slept in a shopping cart draped in moldy plastic sheeting. It doesn't get any more real than that, baby! Or you could say I made the trip in a desperate attempt to break the Curse of the Bearded Girlfriend, which Aphrodite had cast upon me. So begins Curse of the Bearded Girlfriend, a coming-of-age journey that parodies the twilight of the hippie era. Curse takes its teenage protagonist on a cross-country journey with his former bully - a journey that grows dark after they hitch a ride with a young woman whose mental state rapidly deteriorates. While black comedy, this story is also a painfully authentic portrayal of a teenage boy grappling with his budding feelings of lust, love and the distinction between the two. Think of Curse as a cross between Portnoy's Complaint and Youth in Revolt.
Haddad, Charles H., "Curse Of The Bearded Girlfriend" (2018). School of Journalism Faculty Publications. 2.